Thank You Jesus!

It's storming outside... I'm sitting here listening to the rain fall and the thunder rumble... and all I can do is cry. Nope, these aren't sad tears. These are tears of joy.. of blessings. I sit here staring at my beautiful baby girl sleeping so peacefully and I just get so overwhelmed.

I remember when I first got pregnant, I worried constantly about having a miscarriage. I was careful about everything. I stopped vacuuming because I was scared of pushing too much. I stopped using bleach and other cleaning products so I wouldn't 'sniff' too many chemicals. I started taking vitamins. I reduced the stress as much as possible. I refused to take baths because I read that babies couldn't regulate their temperature in your stomach. And I know... this all might seem extreme. I understand that, but my point is--- I was SUPER careful about everything that I did. Getting pregnant was a complete surprise, but once I saw those two blue lines---- all I wanted was that little baby to be born.

I read stories about mother's who miscarried their babies and it breaks my heart. I know God has a reason for every single that He does (although I know those words aren't comforting at times...), but I know it still is a heartbreaking thing for any woman to hear. When I read/hear these stories, my heart feels bittersweet. I am thankful for my miracle laying next to me, but I also find myself asking God 'Why me?' Why did You chose to bless me with this precious gift? Why did everything go beautifully during my pregnancy (despite the chloroplexus cysts scare...)? And these are not questions which require answers.... because regardless, all I can say is...

thank You, Jesus.

Thank You for keeping Your hand upon my sweet baby girl during those 39 weeks she was in my womb. Thank You for keeping me safe while she was growing. Thank You for blessing my labor. (Of course, You could have made it a little shorter, hahahaha! Just kidding!) Thank You for taking care of us.

He is so good to me and I know I don't deserve it, but boy oh boy, am I glad He is!