Project 365: Day 42- July 28th (and Project 52)

I know, I know... I'm supposed to be writing a blog about yesterday, but I think today... I'm just going to reflect a little bit about this thing called
MOMMY LIFE.
Tayler turned 17 weeks old yesterday... and before I forget, let me share a picture of that cute little booger!

Ornery. Ornery. Ornery.
Everyone always thinks I'm playing when I say she's ornery, but seriously folks-- this is legit, haha! I know she's only almost 4 months old, but that girl be JOKIN' on her momma, haha!
She has not been wanting to sleep at night here lately. We were doing so good. She was sleeping in her crib til about 4/5 in the morning thanks to the lovely invention called OATMEAL ;) and then BAM out of nowhere she decides she no longer wants to sleep when I put her in her crib. Where'd that crazy girl come from? She whines.. and whines... and whines... until about 2 am even when I'm holding her. I know, I'm shocked! I don't know who replaced by sleeper, but please bring her back, haha :P Nah, in all seriousness-- I think she's teething and that makes her restless. Imagine if you had teethers just poking through your gums :( And she doesn't understand what's happening, bless her heart. But what she does understand is that she is keeping her mom up!! LOL I'm serious! I went in to her room the other night and said 'Tayler, it is 2AM, it's time for bed...' and she just smiles :) Yea, you know what you're doing little lady! haha! Thank God I don't have to get up for work the next day or I'd probably be the mean lady that no one wants to work with, haha!
Tayler is 16.2 pounds now and loooooooooooooooong. She's my big girl.
She's getting the hang of sitting up by herself finally! haha! She's 'talking' up a storm. Laughing up a storm... just growing by leaps and bounds.
And since we're reminiscing, I figured I'd share this...

Tayler Serenity.... a tiny baby revealed to me through a blue line on a stick 1 YEAR AGO JULY 29TH of this year. I'll be the first to say this--- that one blue line scared the living daylights out of me. I took 9 tests after this one in the days to come to make sure what I was seeing was right. And yep, it was! I was pregnant. I knew I was. I'm the most regular person when it comes to that evil time of the month we all know and... well... dread. So, when I was late, it was quite evident. 3 weeks after taking this test, I took a test at the doctor's office. I remember it like it was yesterday. I went to a clinic downtown, peed in their lovely tiny cup, and sat in the waiting room just anticipating hearing the news all over again. The nurse came and got me, took me into one of their back rooms, and she said, 'Alyssa, honey, (while grabbing my hand) you're pregnant....' (Apparently they thought I was going to be in crazy, dramatic shock...) I said, 'I know...' and we proceeded to discuss the fact that 10 preggo tests later... I figured they were right! :) I had proof and it was time to get the regular doctor appointments started.
As I previously stated, that news scared the beejessies out of me. What was I going to do being a MOTHER? I wasn't ready to be a mom. I could barely keep myself together. I suffered from anxiety-- I hated going places alone, and most of all? I DESPISED GOING TO THE DOCTOR/HOSPITAL. I never go to the doctor unless it's extremely serious. And when I walk into a hospital, I pass out. How was I going to make it through a pregnancy? My mom even said the same thing (through her gritting teeth--- she wasn't exactly happy at first!) All I could do was cry for the first week-- worrying about how I was going to last for 36 more weeks.... I wasn't ready for this. 
But guess what? We made it. I have an almost 4 month old now. I gave birth WITHOUT an epidural. Took way too many blood tests (and pee tests!) Had 7 ultrasounds. Heard news that my baby had a chance of having down syndrome. Went to a major hospital to check on her. Stayed in a hospital for 5 days. Watched her go through jaundice testing. Watched her get her shots.
We've been through a lot....
and it's only by the grace of God that we made it.
I told my mom... despite how everything happened (I'd only been dating E for about 5 months when I found out I was pregnant for Tayler. We lived in a 1 bedroom apartment. We weren't married...) I knew it was all in God's plan. If I had to plan a pregnancy my first time around, I never would have. I was too scared to do that. So, I know that everything happened for a reason..
And now, I feel tremendously blessed. Tayler gives me so much joy... even at 2am when I'm crying from the lack of sleep, haha! Being a mother isn't EASY, but it is WORTH IT and I think that's the only thing that matters.
So cheers to 1 year ago-- July 29th, 2010. The day God changed my life.
I love you, Tayler. Never forget that.