The beginning of Proverbs 31:28- "Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, prosperous, to be admired)...." (AMP)
Proverbs 31:28- "Her children rise up and call her happy...." (NRSVA)
I would say the saying is true. Happy wife, happy life. Happy momma... . happy life. Doesn't rhyme, but the truth is still in it. Oftentimes, we set the mood for our entire home. If Momma is stressed out, angry, upset, overwhelmed... chances are, the rest of the house is going to feel it too.
Janene Wolsey Baadsgaard stated, "In the end... I am the only one who can give my children a happy mother who loves life." And that is the truth. The ball is in our court.
If we were to give our children a survey right now about the kind of spirit we have, what would they say? If we asked them how many times we scream a day, what would they say? If we asked them how we treated them on a daily basis, what would they say? If we asked them how many times we lose our temper through the day, what would they say? If we asked them how many times we said hurtful things through the day, what would they say? If we asked them what kind of things they see us doing through the day, what would they say?
I know the answer my children would probably give about the woman I have been.
Yelling somehow became my go-to.
I wouldn't say any of them would say I was 'happy.'
I remember my middle child used to say, "What's wrong, Momma? Why you so sad? You need more wine?" And this was becoming an every night occurrence.
Thankfully, Jesus rescued my soul. He started revealing to me what my children saw when they looked at me.. and He began asking me if this was the kind of example I wanted to be to them.
Did I want them to see me having to get 'buzzing' every single night just to function?
Did I want them to see me laying in bed day after day because I could hardly pull myself from under the covers?
Did I want them to remember I screamed 24/7... even about little things?
Did I want them to remember that I made them feel bad for asking for anything?
Did I want them to remember I was on my phone 24/7 instead of paying attention to what they were doing?
Did I want them to remember me sleeping in every single day, even when they were already up?
That broke my heart when I thought of the person I had become. The mother I had become.
The Proverbs 31 woman's children rise up and call her BLESSED-- HAPPY-- PROSPEROUS.
Would my children say the same?
Probably not....
So my prayers began.
God, change my heart! Help me to be the mother You called me to be Jesus! Help me to be patient, help me to love with all my heart, help me to stop becoming overwhelmed with being a Momma. Help me to shine Your goodness, Your compassion. Help me to be strong, even when the days seem long. Help my children to see You in me.
And God started doing the changing. He started cleaning out all that junk and darkness in my soul.
Instead of getting 'buzzed' every night to function, we are now enjoying cups of chocolate milk and cookies before bed. I probably don't get the 'healthy mom' award, but my kids get to see a Momma that relies on Jesus instead of alcohol.
Instead of laying in bed every day because I couldn't cope with anxiety and hypochondria, they get to see a Momma that relies on Jesus to help her go outside, play with them, sing, dance, watch movies, and clean the house so they have a happy, peaceful home to come back to.
Instead of screaming 24/7 just to get a point across or get them to listen to me, He is now softening my spirit so I speak with kindness instead of wrath and anger. It is amazing how much easier it is to have them listen when I'm not acting like a crazy person!
Instead of making them feel bad by saying things like 'Can't you let me relax for 5 minutes,' He is allowing me to see that homemaking can be a ministry for Him! Everything we do should be done unto Him. He is allowing me to see what He has called me for. A life of service to the 4 most important people in my life. What greater job could I ask for?
Instead of being on my phone 24/7.. He is giving me enough peace that I don't have to sit and stare at it to keep my mind occupied. I am free in my mind to sit outside while they play and read a book or read the Bible... play when they ask me, give space when they want independence.
Instead of sleeping in and barely getting my child to school, God has allowed me to have a renewed relationship with Him. He helps me get up early in the morning, start a prayer life with Him, sing to Him, read His Word.... and I am so thankful that my children finally get to see that as soon as they wake up instead of a Momma that cries because she can hardly bare what the day will bring.
God has the ability to change us, Mommas.
He has the ability to let our children see a HAPPY Momma, but we have to give Him all of those broken, icky pieces.
What kind of Momma have your children been seeing?
A happy Momma?
Miserable Momma?
Lonely Momma?
Lost Momma?
Blessed Momma?
Thankful Momma?
Bitter Momma?
Faithful Momma?
We are the only ones who can decide to change our ways... and we can only do it through His help.
I'm useless on my own. With Him... well, He makes me brave.
If you are struggling with how to be a happier Momma, here are some great ways:
1. Read the Word of God.
Hebrews 4:12- The word of God, you see, is alive and moving; sharper than a double-edged sword; piercing the divide between soul and spirit, joints and marrow; able to judge the thoughts and will of the heart. (The Voice) His Word can change our spirits. It can show us what to pray for... It can show us how much God loves us and wants us to be happy people! He called us to have a life full of joy... an abundance of joy! Reading His Word can remind us of all of His promises.
2. Pray.
Prayer is one weapon we have that can truly change every fiber of our being. How can we be angry, spiteful, bitter people when we are talking to the Creator who has zero of those qualities in Him? We can't. Through prayer, we can seek His face to help us be better Mommas. We can pray for patience, love, compassion, temperance, joy, happiness, peace.
3. Sing songs/dance.
Have you ever had a dance party with your children? Cranking up joyful music that causes you to have a happy dance... sometimes we have to THINK ourselves happy! Sometimes we have to have a little healthy, happy fun to get ourselves out of that funk. One of our favorite songs around here is 'Unfinished' by Mandisa and 'The Cure' by Unspoken. I promise, if you blast those songs, dance around a little-- your spirit will start feeling lighter!
4. LAUGH.
Did you know even the Bible talks about LAUGHTER?? Proverbs 17:22 states, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.(KJV) Laughter is truly the best medicine. It can lighten your spirit. Think back to a time when you laughed until you were crying-- how good did you feel inside? We need to remember that. Find something to laugh about. Seek to let your spirit be at rest.
5. Take care of yourself.
This is another part of being a happy Momma. Care for your soul! Care for your body. How much better do you feel after a good shower? After getting your hair done? After exercising? After reading the Word in the quiet? After spending time with your friends? We have to set aside time for ourselves, Momma. I always go back to that quote- you cannot fill from an empty pitcher. Fill yourself up with good things! Quality times with friends that enhance your being. Wholesome movies. Good songs. Whatever lifts your spirit.
6. Spend time with your family-- and really see them.
I know we get so caught up in all the roles of a Momma. Running errands, laundry, dishes, dinners, lunch, breakfast, cleaning, organizing... that we forget the beauty that is our families! Look at our babies... we need to see the things that we adore about them. We need to stop thinking about all things that need done that day and just embrace our children. Look at their personalities... look at the little people God trusted you to care for. Take in their tininess. Their innocence. Love them for just being them... without worrying about what they need for the day... just for a little bit.
I know life gets overwhelming at times. Trust me, I get it.
But Momma, our children need to see HAPPY Mommas. PEACEFUL Mommas. LOVING Mommas. COMPASSIONATE Mommas. PATIENT Mommas. JOYFUL Mommas.
We can only do it through prayer... through seeking His face to help us. He CAN do it. I am living proof of a life that is constantly changing because of Him!
You can be too. I promise.
Love you all.
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