THE PROCESS. (March 14th)

Isaiah 52:11- "Just leave, but leave clean. Purify yourselves in the process of worship..."

Purify yourselves in the process of worship.

We talk about repentance often. I've heard it discussed a million times over the years.

Repentance is deep sorrow for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.

And we often hear 'true repentance is letting that sin go and making a 180 degree turn in the other direction.'

Someone even told me once: It isn't real repentance if you keep picking that sin back up again. So, then the question became: what if I mess up again? Should I even say 'sorry' if I know I will struggle with this again? 

We try so hard for perfection because we want repentance to flow through us. We don't want to make a mistake again. We don't want that demon to creep back up and cause us to stumble again.. and then I believe we get so focused on perfection that we become burdened with a life that is so unattainable.. we just feel like giving up on releasing those sins, completely.

But reading this verse, I just felt like God was showing what actual, true repentance really is.

It isn't perfection. 

It's a journey.

Purify means to free from anything that pollutes or contaminates 

and process means a continuous action

which means Isaiah 52:11 says, "Free yourselves from anything that pollutes or contaminates your soul in the continuous action of worship."

CONTINUOUS ACTION.

Purifying your souls. Repentance. Getting rid of that icky stuff. Letting go of your demons...

all of that requires continuous action.

We can confess our sins to God. 

We can address our shortcomings.

BUT, we must walk away knowing: we will not be perfect. We could possibly stumble again. We could fall short every single day. 

HOWEVER. 

Through the continuous action of worship: praying to Jesus Christ, reading the Word, singing, being a light to others, listening to praise music, playing music, studying the Bible.. 

we can purify ourselves. 

It's a process!

Repentance isn't a one time thing and we move on with our lives.
Repentance isn't a one time 180 degree turn and that's it.

A lot of times the sins we battle have a hold on us-- they're demons we face if we aren't subjecting our spirits to God Almighty consistently which means that a one-time confession isn't going to change our ways, BUT it also means that we are going to have to work at it... and by working at it.... we might have tough days.

When I was trying to get control of my alcohol problem last year, it was a daily struggle. It wasn't something I confessed to God and then was like 'Wow, I'm all better!' and I never picked up a drink again. 

I had to hit rock-bottom and nearly lose everything... and then I finally realized I had a problem.
And then after that, it was a private moment with God laying in bed one night asking Him to help me.
It was being sober for a few weeks..
And then falling off the wagon...
And then hitting rock bottom once again.
And then talking to God again..
And then realizing that I held myself to such a high standard. Failure wasn't acceptable. Struggling wasn't okay. If I was so full of Christ, I shouldn't struggle. I fought the thoughts that- I wasn't walking in true repentance because I struggled so much. 

And then I felt like giving up the fight of being sober because I couldn't nail down perfection. I felt like I was failing God. Like people would think I was 'fake' when it came to confessing my sins. 

I could only imagine what people were thinking. Oh look at her over there, confessing her sins and her struggles with alcohol. Then she goes right back over and picks up a drink. Sad.

BUT, through this scripture God reminded me:

You are striving for the PROCESS, not the PERFECTION.

I am walking in the process of worship. Every day.

The demons we face often do not just walk away without a fight. They want your life consumed by them. So it will take work. It will take the process. BUT, the process of worship is worth it if you are freeing your life of that contamination.

I have been striving towards a life without drunkenness and after falling off the wagon in December, I can say that I have lived a life without getting drunk for 3 months Sunday. 

And you know what? That's okay. Because I do not hold myself to the standard of immediate healing of those demons and I do not hold myself to the standard of 180 degree repentance.

I hold myself to the standard of: God sees my heart. He sees the struggle. And he sees the process. 

I'm not perfect.
I still have the demons in my ear, especially on tough days.

BUT.

I have worship now and I have grace..

I have moments alone with Him to renew my strength.
And I have the understanding that even if I struggle, He will help me pick up the pieces and keep moving through the process. 

The process.

The process of worship.
The process of repentance.
The process of peace.
The process of overcoming.

You're going through the process...

and that's just where you're meant to be.

Don't expect perfection.
Expect the process.