Our oldest daughter has non-verbal Autism (as most of you probably know) and sometimes things are less than pleasant. She didn't sleep at all Saturday night, so I was beyond exhausted by Sunday evening. I decided to sleep in the living room because Tayler had zero intentions of going to sleep and my husband had to get up early for work, so I stayed out there to keep an eye on her.. or at least that was my intentions. I must have fallen asleep sometime after 1:30 and woke up around 3:00 to hear Tayler being noisy. I said from the living room "Tayler, sleep" and she wandered out to the living room and laid on the couch. I laid there forever waiting for her to doze off and some time before 4, she did. My husband woke me up at 6:45 as he was getting ready for work and said, "Babe, it smells really bad in here." I woke up and the smell instantly hit me- feces. I slowly made my way to the girl's bedroom and what do you know- she had used the restroom and smeared it everywhere. And when I say everywhere, guys, I mean EVERYWHERE. All I could do was stand there and cry. I SHOULD have been a better Mom the night before and checked on her. I SHOULD have gotten up and looked at her, but she slept only about an hour Saturday night and I was completely beat. As I looked at her, she was covered in it- and slept that way. I felt horrible. Incompetent. So, the day was spent scrubbing everything, shampooing carpets, bathing her, cleaning clothes and a million blankets and stuffed animals. I felt broken. Discouraged. Ashamed.....
And still struggling with all of those emotions. All I could think was- will we be doing this when she's 50?? It is heart wrenching. Most of my day was spent talking to God and trying to heal how I felt inside...
I just had to share that with all of you. If you're struggling with the same situation right now, I'm here.
Thankfully, I knew I had the night ahead of me- The Bachelorette with friends. It was the perfect ending to a stressful, overwhelming day.
It was just what this soul needed!
If you watch The Bachelorette- are you team Tyler or Jed??
Cheers to Project 365!
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