1 Corinthians 13: Love Does Not Remember Wrongs

1 Corinthians 13:5 says, "Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it." (ERV)

Love does not remember wrongs done against it.

Forgiveness-- true forgiveness. 


How many of us can honestly and openly admit that we remember wrongs done against us? Especially by our spouse? How many of us could sit here and write a book about the things they have done and said? And how many of us use that as ammo during another argument? We hold onto it for future reference... 

I'll go ahead and raise my hand. BEEN THERE.

And reading this verse-- I realize once again, the kind of love I have emitted towards my husband. A love that does, indeed, keep track of wrongs.

While studying for this blog, I came across a quote that said- "When someone is trying to change their ways, the worst thing you can do is keep bringing up the past." This applies to all relationships, but especially with our spouses. 

If something happened during your relationship, parties apologized, and both people decided to move on from the situation and grow from it-- the worst thing you can do- the most devastating thing you can do- is remind your significant other of their indiscretions. The worst and most devastating thing you can do is continually hold onto them and use these situations later on down the road.

In Matthew chapter 18, we read about how to handle situations when someone hurts us. Verse 21 states, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, when someone won’t stop doing wrong to me, how many times must I forgive them? Seven times? Jesus answered, “I tell you, you must forgive them more than seven times. You must continue to forgive them even if they do wrong to you seventy-seven times. And then Jesus told a great parable that I want to share with all of you-

So God’s kingdom is like a king who decided to collect the money his servants owed him. The king began to collect his money. One servant owed him several thousand pounds[f] of silver.  He was not able to pay the money to his master, the king. So the master ordered that he and everything he owned be sold, even his wife and children. The money would be used to pay the king what the servant owed.

“But the servant fell on his knees and begged, ‘Be patient with me. I will pay you everything I owe.’ The master felt sorry for him. So he told the servant he did not have to pay. He let him go free.

 “Later, that same servant found another servant who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him around the neck and said, ‘Pay me the money you owe me!’ “The other servant fell on his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me. I will pay you everything I owe.’

“But the first servant refused to be patient. He told the judge that the other servant owed him money, and that servant was put in jail until he could pay everything he owed. All the other servants saw what happened. They felt very sorry for the man. So they went and told their master everything that happened.

“Then the master called his servant in and said, ‘You evil servant. You begged me to forgive your debt, and I said you did not have to pay anything! So you should have given that other man who serves with you the same mercy I gave you.’ The master was very angry, so he put the servant in jail to be punished. And he had to stay in jail until he could pay everything he owed.

“This king did the same as my heavenly Father will do to you. You must forgive your brother or sister with all your heart, or my heavenly Father will not forgive you.”

At times, we assume that God Almighty will be immensely merciful towards us. We want Him to offer forgiveness, forget the sins we have committed, and let us be free in Christ. BUT----- how dare someone cross us? How dare someone hurt us? How dare someone say something bad about us? And then we hold grudges... we remember the wrongs... we are fake to the person's face while still holding on to the situation...

We expect God's forgiveness...
but we do not freely give it.

This is like saying we are 'better than God Almighty.' He is capable of forgiveness-- but not us. We won't give it as freely as He does.... 

We determine the worth of the person.. the worth of the relationship.. by how freely we offer forgiveness.

One thing we must remember is this: 

Forgiveness is a choice.
Not keeping track of wrongs is a choice.

Megyn Blanchard once stated, "Forgiveness is a "greater understanding" that does not occur instantaneously. It is the end result of a choice to not be held hostage by self-judgment or resentment towards another and to begin a healing process. True forgiveness, therefore, requires intention, attention, and time. 

Forgiveness (and letting that indiscretion go) will not happen over night at times. It may take time-- but relationships are worth that and your soul is worth it. Holding on to wrongs done against you-- it will eat you alive. Bitterness will kill your beautiful soul. A Bantu Proverb once stated, "The bitter heart will eat it's owner..." 

What kind of heart do we want to have?

Now- please know that I am not saying that we must be doormats to others-- and I am not saying that we should trust everyone and have perfect relationships with everyone. There are some people who are toxic and God understands if we keep our distance from them. Some people only bring pain and their own agenda. God understands this.

It isn't asking for us to trust everyone.
It isn't asking for us to be best friends with everyone.

He wants us to guard our spirits.

Which means guarding our spirits from toxic individuals
and guarding our spirits from bitterness and holding on to wrongs done against us.

We can offer forgiveness.. we can cleanse our hearts of the anger... we can loose the grudges...

And then we can move on with our lives, without restoring a broken relationship.

We can love others without having a relationship with them. We can love them because they have a soul that Jesus Christ desires to commune with. We can love them because they're a human being that has probably went through some terrible things in their lives. 

We can love them. We can offer forgiveness. We can stop holding grudges. And that doesn't mean that what the other person did is right. It just means that we are exhibiting the love of Christ. We are LOVING OURSELVES enough to NOT let bitterness and anger and spite destroy the spirit Jesus Christ is longing to give us. 

He wants us to sleep good at night.
He wants us to be free of the burdens of this life.
He wants our spirits to feel light- not bearing the weight of the past.

But we have to work at it.

It does take time, but my goodness-- how worth it!

Our spouses deserve forgiveness.
Our friends deserve forgiveness.
Our children deserve forgiveness.
Our parents deserve forgiveness.

If we deserve forgiveness by Jesus Christ, they deserve forgiveness from us.

Be willing to let go of the past today.
Be willing to set your soul free from keeping track of the wrongs done against you.

You'll be surprised how alive you feel after.

I love you all.