The dictionary describes "selfish" as "devoted to or caring only for oneself'; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc. regardless of others."
Now, the first thing I want to address about being "selfish" is this: there is a huge difference between taking care of yourself and being selfish.
Self-care is important and vital in our lives. Have you ever heard the saying 'you can't pour from an empty cup?' It's true. We have to make sure we are caring for all areas of our lives--- so we can be the best versions of ourselves to care for our families.
What does taking care of ourselves look like?
It is taking care of our physical needs- getting as much rest as possible, taking care of our bodies when we aren't feeling the greatest, eating wholesome foods, drinking water, taking care of our personal hygiene.
It is taking care of our emotional needs- it is dealing with situations in a healthy manner, seeking help if we are unable to deal with situations in a healthy manner, spending time with the right people, understanding our feelings.
It is taking care of our social needs- getting as much social interaction as we need to feel mentally stable, spending time with our friends, pursuing our hobbies, creating new friendships.
It is taking care of our spiritual needs- praying, reading the Bible, talking to God, spending time with those who help encourage us and lift us up, understanding what our faith is.
It is taking care of our home needs- making sure our homes are peaceful, organized, clean, and useful for us. It is ensuring our clothes are clean, bed linens are washed, dishes done. It is all about creating a safe environment for ourselves.
It is essential that we do take care of ourselves. Eleanor Brown once stated, "Self-care is so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel."
There is a difference between taking care of ourselves-- and becoming selfish.
Being selfish is when we begin to put everything before everyone else. It is a dangerous pit to fall in.
We lose sight of what everyone around us need-- and only focus on ourselves. It is okay to take time to focus on US, but it is dangerous when we lose focus of everyone else while doing so. We neglect the needs of those around us.
In Galatians chapter 5, Paul writes, " You were indeed called to be free, brothers and sisters. Don’t turn this freedom into an excuse for your corrupt nature to express itself. Rather, serve each other through love. et me explain further. Live your life as your spiritual nature directs you. Then you will never follow through on what your corrupt nature wants. What your corrupt nature wants is contrary to what your spiritual nature wants, and what your spiritual nature wants is contrary to what your corrupt nature wants. They are opposed to each other. Now, the effects of the corrupt nature are obvious: illicit sex, perversion, promiscuity, idolatry, drug use, hatred, rivalry, jealousy, angry outbursts, selfish ambition, conflict, factions, envy, drunkenness, wild partying, and similar things. I’ve told you in the past and I’m telling you again that people who do these kinds of things will not inherit God’s kingdom." (GW)
Now, this isn't to spark fear in you. God is a God of mercy and forgiveness. But selfishness is part of our corrupt nature. It is what begins to consume us if Jesus Christ is not consuming our hearts. It is ranked up there with idolatry, drugs, hatred, anger, perversion... We must pray every day for our spiritual nature to direct our actions, words, and thoughts... we must subject our minds and spirits to Him so that our corrupt nature does not overpower our spiritual nature.
We cannot do this alone. We must do it through Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate power-- our human flesh alone cannot combat the weapons of spiritual warfare. His Spirit can.. in ways we could never imagine.
Paul writes that the opposite of selfishness is a humble spirit.
In Philippians 2:3, he says, "Don’t act out of selfish ambition or be conceited. Instead, humbly think of others as being better than yourselves." (GW)
Selfishness is not thinking about other's feelings, needs.....
A humble, meek spirit consistently thinks about the feelings of others before speaking or acting.
It is in our human nature to resist this, but it is the Holy Spirit that encourages us to seek it.
Being meek does not only apply to our husbands. It applies to our nature with all human beings. While I was reading these verses, I kept thinking of my children also. Now, please know I'm not saying we are called to be our children's slaves. What I am saying is that I know how rough it is as a parent-- we get frustrated, we get annoyed, we get aggravated-- BUT, we are called to be humble and gentle with them.
This is something that I struggle with.
Even if it is something small that happens, I get aggravated-- and I immediately snap. It frustrates me and I feel bad as soon as I do it, but I continue to do it nonetheless.
The only thing I find myself doing is praying over my mind and my spirit. Praying that God will fill me with meekness.
A quote on Pinterest stated, "Being meek does not mean weakness, but it does mean behaving with goodness and kindness, showing strength, serenity, healthy, self-worth, and self-control."
God, give me a spirit of goodness, kindness, serenity, self-worth, and self-control-- in my actions and in my words.
Our Importance.
I think one of my problems as far as addressing my lack of meekness is: my own opinion of my self-importance.
When I lack a gentle spirit with my children: I think my time is more important than this. I want to do something else more important than this.
When I nag my husband: My time is more valuable than these 10 extra seconds it takes to put your dishes in the sink. My time is more important than having to get you a drink while you're sitting on the couch.
When I am impatient and speak negative words to others: I'm more important and my time is more important than riding behind your slow car. I'm more important than waiting in line at the grocery store.
I'm more important...
This is where meekness tends to fly out the window for me.....
And haughtiness rears it's ugly head.
Another quote on Pinterest by Gordon B. Hinckley states, "Being humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others."
This is how we can maintain a humble spirit-- by remembering that we are here to make a difference in the lives of others-- or as Jesus would say-- by remembering that we are here to SERVE others. Especially our husbands and our children.
This is how we can maintain a humble spirit-- by remembering that we are here to make a difference in the lives of others-- or as Jesus would say-- by remembering that we are here to SERVE others. Especially our husbands and our children.
Love is not selfish.
Love is a humble, meek spirit.
Love is taking care of ourselves
but not neglecting the needs of others.
Love is a humble, meek spirit.
Love is taking care of ourselves
but not neglecting the needs of others.
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