Saturday, December 30, 2017

Proverbs 31 Woman: Day 19- Respecting Our Husbands




Yesterday we talked about uplifting and respecting our husbands.

Proverbs 31:23 begins with, "Everyone recognizes her husband in the public square...." (VOICE.) The WEB version of the Bible states, "Her husband is respected in the gates...."

The last part of Proverbs 31:23 says, "....and no one fails to respect him as he takes his place of leadership in the community." (VOICE)

Proverbs 31:23- "....where he makes decisions as one of the leaders of the land."



One thing God has been stirring in my heart the past few weeks is respecting and honoring my husband as the head of household in our home.

In Ephesians 5:22-24, we read-

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (KJV)

"Wives, it should be no different with your husbands. Submit to them as you do to the Lord,  for God has given husbands a sacred duty to lead as the Anointed leads the church and serves as the head. (The church is His body; He is her Savior.) So wives should submit to their husbands, respectfully, in all things, just as the church yields to the Anointed One." (VOICE)

"Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands." (The Message)


God designed a hierarchy in our families. He desired for Jesus Christ to be the head of the home- that all decisions, that all plans, that our lives- would be prayed over and that God's perfect will would be sought in all areas. Next, is the husband. God designed the husband to be the leader of the home. He wanted the husband to be the spiritual protector... someone that would keep his family's best interest at heart and guide them in the direction of Jesus Christ. That he would seek God's will in every area of the family's life. Next on the hierarchy is the wife. God designed her to be submitted and respectful to her husband. Jesus didn't say for the wives to be doormats... she isn't 'less' than her husband. He designed her to follow his spiritual guidance which is why Ephesians 5:22 says, "submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord."

Simply One In Marriage gave some great examples of how to respect and honor our husbands as the spiritual leader in our home. 

1. She notices him.
Do I give him attention or do I ignore him?
Do I take interest in what he is doing?
Do I take interest in what he is talking about?
Do I ignore him when other people are around?


2. She regards him.
Do I accept him as he is?
Do I look at him when he speaks to me?
Do I listen carefully to what he says?
Do I speak to him with kindness and grace or do I boss him around?

Do I consider him my partner or do I act as though he's my enemy?
Do I take care of myself?
Do I respond lovingly to his sexual advances? Or do I neglect meeting his physical needs?

3. She honors him.
Do I take care of his possessions?
Do I discuss major decisions with him?
Do I allow him to complete his side of the conversation?Or do I interrupt him?
Do I treat his side of the family like my own?


4. She prefers him.
Do I set aside time for him every day? or am I too busy to spend time with him?
Do I share my deepest feelings with him?
Do I share news with him before anyone else?
Do I choose to spend time with him above others?
Do I orchestrate times of intimacy with him?

5. She venerates him.
Do I look at him with tenderness? Or do I roll my eyes at him?
Do I ask for his opinion? Or do I act without his input?
Do I treat him as the most important person in my life?
Do I speak well of him?
Do I give him the benefit of the doubt?
Do I stand by him and defend him?


6. She esteems him.
Do I have a high opinion of him as my husband?
Do I give him the benefit of the doubt? Or do I assume the worst of him?
Do I encourage him as the spiritual leader of the home?
Do I appreciate his efforts? Or do I consistently criticize him?

7. She defers to him.

Do I acknowledge him as the God-given head of our family? Or do I claim equal authority in the home?
Do I honor his preferences? Or do I choose my own preferences over his?
Do I go along with his decision, even if I think differently? Do I graciously follow his lead? Or do I give him the silent treatment or shun him when we do things his way?
Do I support his decisions in parenting? Or do I undermine his authority in front of the kids?8. She praises him.
Do I show appreciation for the things he does?
Do I tell him how proud I am of him?
Do i talk about his accomplishments?
Do I thank the Lord for him?
Do I speak positively about him or am I constantly talking negative?

9. She loves him.
Do I care about his well-being?
Do I forgive him when he hurts me or do I keep record of his wrongs?
Do I make myself attractive to him?
Do I strive to make our home a place he wants to come home to? A peaceful environment?
Do I pray for him every day?
Do I have a relationship with God so He can work on me to be a better person?

10. She admires him.
Do I appreciate all that he does for our family?
Do I understand the burdens he carries around for our family?
Do I show appreciation for his positive qualities?


We can only grow and become better wives... better mothers.. by asking ourselves these questions and seeing what areas we need to work on. 


I read and wrote this with tears pouring down my face. I realized the kind of wife I've been. I've been the wife demanding equal authority over our family. I've been disrespectful. I haven't honored him like I should have. 

As God has been guiding me on this journey of a better relationship with Him... He has been changing my heart to have a better relationship with my husband. He has been helping me to be slow to getting angry. And He has been helping me WANT to respect my husband. I have so many areas that I need to work on. I've been that wife that rolls my eyes at my husband when he's talking. When we have an argument, I'm the interrupter. I lose his things a lot. I assume the worst of him and situations. Sometimes, I don't take care of myself. I have undermined his authority in front of our children. I have been so disrespectful to the man God designed to be the caretaker of our family.


A quote on Pinterest stated that there are 14 things we can do to respect and honor our husbands as the spiritual authority figure in our homes.


1. Never belittle your husband.
2. Never talk down to your husband.
3. Never ignore your husband.
4. Never let your husband feel replaceable.
5. Never play down your need for him.
6. Never cause him to feel embarrassed.
7. Never look away or text while he is talking.
8. Never manipulate him.
9. Never boss him.
10. Never laugh at his mistakes or his faults.
11. Never put another person before him.
12. Never be too busy for him
13. Never be inconsiderate of his feelings
14. Never tell his personal business.

Honoring and respecting our husbands is not about putting us lower than him-- it is about esteeming him and making him realize his worth in our family and to the Lord. 

1 Peter 3 states, "In the same way, wives, you should patiently accept the authority of your husbands. This is so that even if they don’t obey God’s word, as they observe your pure respectful behavior, they may be persuaded without a word by the way you live.  Don’t focus on decorating your exterior by doing your hair or putting on fancy jewelry or wearing fashionable clothes; let your adornment be what’s inside—the real you, the lasting beauty of a gracious and quiet spirit, in which God delights. This is how, long ago, holy women who put their hope in God made themselves beautiful: by respecting the authority of their husbands."

God, help us to have gracious and quiet spirits. Help us to put our hope in You and follow Your words. You have called us to respect the authority of our husbands with a cheerful, honorable spirit. Please help us to honor our husbands and help our husbands cherish us. Help us to admire our husbands, love our husbands, respect our husbands, praise our husbands, esteem our husbands, and notice our husbands. They deserve it. Help us to push aside the carnal flesh-- the part of us that wants to be equal to or above our husbands. Help us to realize the power in submission.

Matthew L Jacobson said, "Biblical submission isn't submitting to your husband's will. It is embracing the order Christ established and submitting to Him." When we submit to our husbands, we are obeying God's command-- and obedience is better than sacrifice. (1 Samuel 15:22) When we obey God's command, we send up praise to Him. Respectful submission to our husbands sends praise to God and creates an atmosphere where God can work! If you are seeking His blessings, His direction.... it starts at home. 


God, also help our husbands to remember that they are the spiritual authority figures in our lives. Please let them understand the power of this position and the weight that it carries. Help our husbands to lead us and guide us following Your will and Your Word. Please help our husbands to love and cherish their families... and love and cherish You. 

The Bible says for the husbands to love the wives as God loves the church. He loved us enough to send Jesus Christ to die for our sins... the ultimate sacrifice. Husbands, love and cherish your wife. Look at the woman she is... remember why you fell in love with her... take care of her spirit... take care of her body.. take care of her mind. God trusted you with her. 

Thank you for everything You do for us, Jesus.

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