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Showing posts from September 8, 2013

Why I Stopped "Serving God Because I'm Scared" [Day 12]

I'll be honest with you.
There was a time in my life where I did good because I wanted to receive good. I remember when I used to work as a waitress and, honest to goodness, I would listen to 'holy' music before work... I would make sure I kept everything perfect.. so I would receive His blessings at work. I was scared something bad would happen, I would make a mistake... so I would seek perfection in order to attain favor.
I was motivated by fear.
I remember going to sleep at night and saying, "Please make me clean. I want to go to Heaven... I'm so scared of Hell. Keep me right in your eyes so I can attain Heaven as my home."
I was motivated by fear.
For awhile, I was able to push 'fear' to the back of my mind. I quit worrying about attaining favor through doing good and just lived... until recently.
Fear has crept back in to my life. I'm not exactly sure why, but it has become a motivator again. I have been struggling to even sleep because fear…