Saturday, December 30, 2017

Proverbs 31 Woman: Day 28- How Would Your Husband Describe You?

Proverbs 31:28-29- "....Her husband, too, joins in the praise, saying:
29 “There are someindeed many—women who do well in every way,
    but of all of them only you are truly excellent." (The Voice)

Proverbs 31:28-29- 
    "....her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”" (NIV)

Proverbs 31:28-29- "....Her husband brags about her and says,
29 “There are many good women,
    but you are the best.” (ERV)

Yesterday we talked about what our children would say if we gave them a survey based on our behavior over the past year or two. What would they truly say about us? Would they describe us as miserable? Mean? Too busy? Or they would describe us as happy? At peace? Always making time for them? Her children rise and call her happy....

And her husband praises her.

If we were to give our husbands a survey today about our behavior over the past year or two, what would they truly say about us? Would they describe us as miserable wives? Unhappy? Always nagging? Critical? A complainer? Or would they describe us as happy? Encouraging? Optimistic? At peace? Gentle? Compassionate?

Unfortunately, like my children, I know what kind of wife my husband would probably describe me as over the past two years.

I've been on a gradual downward spiral and it has shown. I've been the miserable, complaining, nagging, never happy, always griping wife. And it hasn't been fun-- on him or our marriage.

I love being a wife. I do. I feel like I've always been striving to be the best one I can be. But as we continued having our children, I got overwhelmed with all that was on my plate. And then I became resentful of my husband. In my head, he was gone working all of the time. He had a 'break' from the children every single day and here I was, trying to manage the three of them, get everything done around the house, making every single meal, trying to keep the house organized. And then when I began battling with anxiety and hypochondria, what I had always done around the house began to suffer. And I became more resentful.

I carried around this weight of bitterness. This weight of anger. This weight of wrath. I was just angry all of the time. If my husband said one word to me that I thought was remotely offensive, I immediately got defensive. And when I got defensive, he got defensive. We started arguing every single day and most of it linked back to my bad, nasty attitude.

I knew I needed a change- my soul needed the change. It needed cleaned out. All that entitlement, bitterness, resentment, anger, wrath... it needed washed away and replaced with thankfulness, gentleness, peace, happiness, kindness, joy.

God began dealing with me about pleading the Word over my life, my mind, my spirit, my attitude. The Word is a powerful weapon for us. Hebrews 4:12 states, "God’s word is alive and working. It is sharper than the sharpest sword and cuts all the way into us. It cuts deep to the place where the soul and the spirit are joined. God’s word cuts to the center of our joints and our bones. It judges the thoughts and feelings in our hearts." (ERV) I NEEDED the Word to cut through to me. I NEEDED it to change me, shape me. 

Research began taking place. Honestly, I had been around the Word of God almost my entire life. Studied it. Memorized it. Read it. And I still had no idea where to start with scriptures that I NEEDED to hear. Bible Gateway became my best friend... and God led me to the places He wanted me to go.

For thankfulness, I prayed Colossians 2:7- "You must depend on Christ only, drawing life and strength from him. Just as you were taught the truth, continue to grow stronger in your understanding of it. And never stop giving thanks to God." (ERV)

For gentleness, I prayed Proverbs 15:1- "A gentle answer makes anger disappear, but a rough answer makes it grow." (ERV) Help me to answer gently, Lord. Even when I feel deserving of a 'rough answer', please help me understand the effects of this behavior. God, please help me to hold my tongue and think before I speak. My husband deserves that- our marriage deserves that.

For peace, I prayed a few verses.

1 Peter 5:7 states, "Give all your worries to him, because he cares for you." (ERV)
Philippians 4:6 states, "Don’t worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks for what you have." (ERV)
Matthew 11:28-30 states, "“Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest. Accept my teaching.[a] Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest. Yes, the teaching that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is light.”"(ERV)

For happiness, I prayed Job 36:11- "If they serve and obey him, he will make them successful and they will live a happy life." (ERV)

For kindness, I prayed Matthew 5:8- "Great blessings belong to those who show mercy to others. Mercy will be given to them."

For joy, I prayed Psalms 51:12- "Your help made me so happy. Give me that joy again. Make my spirit strong and ready to obey you." (ERV)

And every morning I still have to. The 'old man' has a way of creeping back up, constantly. It is a battle I fight every single morning to bury the wife of my past and put on the wife of NOW. 

It is a decision we must make every single day. To put our thoughts, our words, our actions into His hands. Praying that God would change our hearts, change our minds. It takes work. There are days I don't feel like rolling out of bed and asking for forgiveness for my incomplete parts. There are days I don't feel like putting the 'old person' under subjection to His Word. BUT---- I am TOO scared of becoming that woman again... so, I pray to Him to help me fight the flesh and we push forward together.

What kind of wife would our husbands describe us as?

Would he praise us like the Proverbs 31 husband did? Would he be ashamed of us? Would he wonder where the woman he married went to? Would he shout it from the roof tops how amazing we are?

If the answer is 'he wonders where the woman he married went to'... lets work to fix that.
If the answer is 'he would praise us like the Proverbs 31 husband did' lets keep praying that God will keep your heart and soul pure in His eyes.

We can do this, ladies. We can become better women for our children and husband. It will take work, a lot of Bible reading, a lot of praying, and a lot of burying our old habits, but we can do it.

You can do it.