Thursday, January 2, 2014

You Trusted Me

12:38am and I'm sitting in the recliner in our living room rocking both of my babies to sleep. This is a rare occurrence considering Tayler (my oldest-- almost 3) hates to be cuddled anymore. However, she heard me out here rocking her little sister to sleep and thought she absolutely needed to join. 

I can hear Quinn (my 8 month old) breathing deeply and I can feel Tayler rubbing my arm as I rock.. And rock.. And rock. It's quiet. Dark. Perfect for thinking. Perfect for thanking.

We always say our prayers before bed and last night was no different. Ethan and I both shared in what we were grateful for and he caught me off guard when he prayed, '... And Jesus, thank You for trusting me with my girls. Thank You for thinking enough of me to give them to me.' It struck something in me.

Of course, I've always known God gave me my two littlest sweethearts. That was no shock, but to think of it in terms of God trusting me with them.. That was a whole new level.

I close my eyes and I picture Heaven. Heaven in 2010... The year Tayler was created. I picture God crafting her.. Taking His time. She is special and so unique in her own way. I know He worked carefully. She is beautiful and so smart. 

And I picture Him picking us out.. Telling her.. 'See those people down there? They're the ones I picked for you. I trust them with your life. I trust them to love you. I trust them to take care of you. I trust them to give you baths, wash your clothes, to make sure you have a warm home, and food to eat. I trust them to teach you new things and I trust them to give their whole hearts to you. I trust them to give you kisses... And lots of them. I trust them to snuggle you and care for you when you're sick. I trust them to tuck you in to bed and wake you up with breakfast. I trust them to stay up late and get up early. I trust them to adore you.. Like I adore you.'

And I picture Him perfectly crafting her.. And Him sending her to us on March 31st, 2011. She changed my life.

He trusted me with her.

Then I close my eyes and I picture Heaven in 2012.. The year our sweet Quinnie was created. I picture God molding her. She has such a gentle spirit. Warm. Welcoming. Loving. Her smile can light up an entire room. She is special and unique in her own way. 

And then, once again, I picture Him picking us out. I picture Him telling her, 'I trust them to protect you. I trust them to risk their lives so that you can still breathe. I trust them to work hard for you so you don't have a worry or care in this world. I trust them to give you advice and show you love and kindness. I trust them to love you unconditionally like I love you. I trust them to have you... Like I have had you.'

And I picture Him blessing us with her on May 2nd, 2013. That little girl brought our family closer.

He trusted me with her.

I think sometimes as parents, we forget this. We forget that He didn't have to send these sweet babies to our arms. There are billions of people in this world that He could have chosen, but He looked in to your heart.. Your eyes.. Your soul.. And chose you. 

Honor that today.

Look at those babies who are probably sleeping soundly right now and realize what a treasure they are. Sometimes we get so caught up in the struggles from day to day that we lose sight of the gift that lived within us (or the gift that was given to us.) 

Love your babies. Cherish them. It's moments like these in the quiet that I realize how many times I take my girls for granted. Frustration causes my vision to cloud and I forget.... He trusted.... Me.

You trusted me, Lord. You trusted me with these precious, sweet, innocent babies. Let me honor that trust. Let me be the best Mommy I can be because they deserve it. Because they don't know unkindness or disloyalty or unfaithfulness. Because they don't know busyness or malice or bitterness. Help me be the woman you entrusted.

Your servant.

Help me today to remember.