Saturday, September 10, 2011

Holding Anger

"Holding anger is poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves."
 I've noticed that here lately I have been holding anger inside towards individuals that have been in my life. I'm not usually a grudge holder, but that appears to be how I've chosen to deal with the hurt over the past few years. It seemed reasonable enough, right? You keep being mad at the individual that wronged you, so that- in your mind- they never receive mercy for their actions. Perfect idea!

Except for guess what? Chances are the person who gossiped about you, lied to you, lied about you, etc. (especially if you rarely talk to them).. is NEVER going to know that you are angry with them. So who are you really hurting in this situation? Yourself. You are letting someone that did not respect you, did not love you... take up room in your heart and your mind and you know what?


They don't deserve that privilege and you don't deserve that pain.

So, in writing this blog, I want to say:

I forgive you.

To those that have talked about me behind my back, to those that have ridiculed me, to those that have put me down... to anyone that I harbor ill feelings towards, I forgive you. I forgive you for causing me pain. I forgive you so that this anger no longer festers in my heart. I don't have time for it. Anger... deep, resentful anger.. makes you such a bitter person. And that isn't me. 

I don't want to be that woman. I want my daughter to see a woman that has love and peace in her life. I refuse to let another individual take that from me. 

I forgive you. And I'm letting it all go...

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It's good not to hold on to anger! I struggle with that myself, but until you can forgive everyone, you will never be completely happy. such a hard concept, isn't it?!